By: Wendy

Wendy — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 07:34:34 +0000

Hello Rosemary,
I just listened to your show with George. (its still on?, oops, no way through), well I was and am very interested in this topic tonight as I have been suffering from night and day terrors for years now. I do not remember Anything before this happens while I am sleeping. It usually happens when someone just wakes me up. I am taking clonazepam because it got so bad that I couldn’t and can’t even function while I am awake. When I wake up my eyes are just bugging out, feels like that and I am frozen screaming in just pure Terror that just goes on and on… it’s absolutey Horrifying, there are no words to describe it. Without my medication even during the day I am so horrified and afraid, and I mean terrified of what??? I don’t know, I am Just frozen solid, can’t move or function. I also have terrible thoughts and see the world maybe as it really is?? lots of bad things almost like evil, feeling evil? Maybe I am seeing the world as it really is or could be? On the medication I am ok and don’t worry or see this, I shouldn’t say see because I do not see things that are not there or hear things I just “feel” them…the med allows me to have a basically normal life although I am still very nervous sometimes.
I haven’t had a bad terror awakening lately but it actually just happened to me this morning when my father woke me to tell me something. I am 52 years old and yes I live at home in an apartment in a house under my elderly parents. I wake up eyes bugged and just terrorized even with the med, like this morning. It usually helps though. No doctor has understood and has only tried to put me on every conceivable anti-depressant there is out there but this is the only medication that helps at all. Wehn I took that I had such evil thoughts, dreams and experiences, tried to kill myself when I would Never do that. I finally stopped all those and refused those medications and I am ok. When it first started in my adult life it was so bad that the guy I lived with at the time was so terrified from seeing me do this afer waking me up he told me that he has never in his life seen a human being so scared or a look of terror on anyone’s face before. I do not recall what happens before this happens in my dreams..I have an idea what caused it in my adult life as I had it when I was very young but not to this extent. It was abuse. Sexual abuse then attempted sexual abuse in my late 20′s. Someone very close in my family woke me up trying to climb into bed with me…anyways I am wondering why I have these terrors..I know why…I was told by a woman shrink that it was Post Traumatic Stress but do you think that this could be also a spiritural attack or I should say attachment? I cannot function unless I take this medication and it really does help but I don’t like taking things like this for my life and my doctors do not understand this. No one really understands who sees or hears about it.It freaks my parents out when or if they see me like this and it does me too! It is just horrible. I guess they just think I am nuts? They know it is some kind of fear, obviously..but it is just over the top. A lot of bad things have happened also in my life, no matter how hard I try and try to succeed something always gets in my way and ruins it. I pray and believe in God and Jesus. I have had Lots of experiences that I could tell you but this is getting long. If this thing or whatever it is happens..if it some spiritual thing it leaves/hides? but always returns..and I do believe what you are saying about things are getting worse. I am now looking at people and being able to see what bad things they have done and what is going to happen and it is getting to be right on the money. That doesn’t really scare me though, I kind of like it. It’s almost good to know. It just started to happen though so I am still waiting to see if this is something really true or just a freak thing.
Anyways these terrors are just too terrifying and I can not even really describe them to you they are just too terrible…just horrifying.
Well thank you for listening and for you for sharing your experiences with everyone.
Just wondering how I could get rid of these horrible fear and terrors? Oh I did see a psycologist once that put me under and he regressed me but when I came to I felt like a little girl and was crying. He looked soo angry and I thought it was at me. I asked him what it was and why I couldn’t remember a certain thing that I kept thinking about, things around me when I was little but he told me that there were just things too horrifying and terrible that I should just try and not remember and to leave it alone. That I was just better off not remembering and to leave it alone. That was it! Hello..so no help there either.I didn’t understand why he just didn’t tell me because I thought it would help the fear and horror to go away. Heal me. He just wouldn’t tell me.
Thanks Rosemary and sorry for being so long.
God Bless and Thanks to George too! Gotta Love His show..it sure freaks me out sometimes though. LOL good stuff there George!
Wendy

Comments on:

By: Wendy